HW # 36 - Triangle Partner Help

To Will C

Ahh, You did your rough draft. I was waiting for it. I got to say Will, you have a interesting topic. The last time I check to see if you have your rough draft, you were working on the computer room. You came up with a fantastic idea in like what, 20 minutes or so. That's impressing. One thing I like about your draft is that you came up with a great intro to start your paper, then you just went in dept; telling us how "horrible" cigarette do to your health.

You went very hard on your second paragraph. You set good examples and provides excellence evidences to support your argument. "A true symbol of "F #%*" I though that was awesome of how you include that.

I really think your topic was strong and it is nice to read a paper like this once in a while. Your main idea of this topic demonstrate how the community is influence to act cool by lighting a cigar.

Theres only one or two problem. I really dont think I should point this out, but i seen you smoke and in terms on your draft; stating how cigarette is very bad for your health. Ask yourself, why are you still lighting up a cigarette. Why are you still contaminate your body?

Your paper is awesome Will. I just think your need to brainstorm more ideas of how teenagers try to be cool. Put yourself in the sistuation, do you wever want to be cool? Overall good shit. I want to read more. Keep it up.

To Sam J,

Sam I total agree with your argument/topic on how teenagers always tries to act cool by geting influence by others. They see people have this "fresh" kicks, they will try to get better ones. We are always influences negatively and not postivetly. Howcome we dont follow people good behaviors such as spending more time in school. We just iminate peoples mistakes; leading to an unsuccessful path.

It is a huge problem to this society. I went to Staten Island the other day, and I saw these group of white kids, they were so ghettp and wearing the same shit. I saw many kids just stare down at them. They probably want to be part of them. LIke howcome we cant help being cool? when can we learn on how to control ourselves and learn what is the right and wrong thing to do. Sometimes I am sick trying to be the center of attention, trying to make people realize "I am here"

Sam, your paper is incredible. To make it better, try to connected your own life into the system of coooool. Research some information to solve this problem and try to interview some "uncool" teenager opinion on "teenagers" trying to stay FLY. Nice Job.