Saturday, October 31, 2009

H.W 16- Big Paper 1 Outline

Focus Question: What does technology bring to our world?

Introduction:

Mom:"How the fuck did you get a 80 on your progress report!?"

Quinn: "But mom, 80, is a passing..."

Mom: "I dont care if you get a 81 or a 99.9. I want to see a 1 next to two zeros. You are living under my roof, using my money, eating from my dinner table, so, there are certain rule(s)you must follow!"

Quinn: "But, I did so much better than a lot of people from my school."

Mom: "So?, why are you setting your mind as being an failure? You are not smarter than any other kids. You didnt even make it to stuyvesant High School. Why do you have to compare yourself to people? Worry about yourself. Worry about your future. Dont worry about anything else but school."

Quinn: " Mom, give me a break. I read everyday and dont have time to play."

Mom: "What did I just tell you? Huh! Right now, it is about school. You never have your mind in school other than playing your games and going online. When I tell you to study... you go to sleep. When I dont tell you to study... you just kept on playing and not worrying about your grades. Do you want to be like your father? Sitting at home and not finding an job? Do you want to support your children? Do you?

Quinn: " That's Bullshit! I do worry about sch..."

Mom: "You are bullshit. There's kids that wants to go to school but their parent dont have the money to give their children a education. I see children dont have money to buy themselves book. Children who wants to learn... have no money. Children who doesnt want to learn... have money but end up wasting it. LIKE YOU!"

Body + Arguments:

Before, I get started on this paper I will like to know: "What is parent for?" Parent are not just your protection. They are also your coach and guidance. Parent are like teacher but parent has a special method to teach kids how to grow. I should had listen to my mom right from the start. She told me to focus on school and just put the freetime on the side. She warn me and I never listen to her. She told me to stop playing video games, stop watching t.v, stop talking on the phone but I never listen to her. Do you know what happen to kids that dont listen to their parent? CONSEQUENCES. Yupp, I have to face the consquences. Technologies brought my grades down and when I reach senior year; I have to work EXTRA hard.

*Focusing on how games damage grades*

Still anazlying and finding sources...

Evidence 2,3,4 still thinking

Conclusion: *Answering my focus question* Technology brings Tradegies.

2 comments:

  1. Quinn;
    I thought your thesis has great potential but is way to broad, technology itself is such a broad topic, i think you should focus much more on one topic and then argue that, like what will did with facebook and privacy and how we are loosing our privacy. Or maybe how video games affect us in a certain way and what that represents to you. What does technology represent to you? Something is important. But you really need to focus on something, you have some info is here and you really need to focus that in on something specific

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  2. Quinn, I think that you have some really strong ideas in the making. I think that taking those exerpts from your personal life really could make your paper that much better. I think at the end where you say that video games damage grades is a great place to focus because I'm sure that will get the attention of a lot of people. The only thing I would say is that I'm a little unsure what your thesis is exactly. Towards the end of the outline it seems that its taking a different focus then earlier in the outline. So I just think that you need to find that one sub-topic within digital and focus on it and you will have a great paper.

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